Why Celebrancy?

How Clearly Beloved began

'True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, 'I was adored once, too.'

The toast from the inimitable Gareth in Four Weddings And A Funeral

In film, literature, music, and the everyday, love fascinates, amazes, eludes, confounds, divides and unites us. Perhaps that’s why Richard Curtis’s movies have stood the test of time for longer than my first marriage - yes, I am a divorcee, so why celebrancy?

You may as well ask 'Why celebrate love?'

And I’m not sure many would need to ask that. Unless of course right now you’re in the pain that losing love brings. But even then, in time we can celebrate what we’ve had and known. I’m a divorcee who hasn’t lost faith in love. Far from it. In fact, it opened my eyes to it more than ever before.

Because love in its many forms is something that can be hard to recognise. Other times it just appears within you or around you - at a massively inconvenient point! Sometimes it comes easily, other times it requires patience and dedication.

I’ve come to realise this is something worth celebrating - but to be honest, it wasn’t what first drew me to consider training as a celebrant.

Thank you, Sara Cox

I was listening to the radio while working at home (well, usually I’ve had to really muster enthusiasm and drink my body weight in coffee first.. ). I’ve really missed interacting with others on a daily basis - that contact really keeps me sane and brings out the best in me. Anyway, there I am, grabbing a cuppa and putting a wash on in between things - you know how many of our days go post-Covid...

Then, a caller on the radio was asked what she was doing the next day. ‘I’m doing a wedding. I'm a celebrant’, she says. ‘Oo that’s interesting’ says Sara Cox (in my best Bolton accent), ‘why do you do that?’ The reply that came was like a checklist of what I enjoy, where my strengths lie, and what I value - meeting others, empathising with them, listening to them and wanting to help, writing and creativity, speaking to a group.. and having fun at 'work'!!

The penny dropped

Why hadn’t I thought of this before? That was earlier this year, and next week I take my training course with the Association of Professional Celebrants.

The more I’ve thought about it since the Sara Cox moment, I’ve realised two important things. One, this was actually a business that I’d be starting - blimey - but that’s something I’ve always been curious about doing - and secondly (the even heavier bit) that love was something of an enigma to me for a long time until a few major life events took place.

Sometimes these involved loss, and you realise how deeply you’ve loved - in my case, a friend or family member going too soon. Sometimes these brought out a love so unconditional I didn’t know I had it in me - of course, that’s about my two children, now two young men I am deeply proud of. It can even be the comfort of home, especially when it’s been hard won. Then, finally, love of a partner, and their love for me. As the wonderful Gareth said in Four Weddings, I am actually, properly, adored. Hallelujah!

And so it begins

Over the next few months, alongside my job in communications and the many home commitments, and with vital support of my own loved ones, I’ll begin this adventure in earnest. I'll be focusing on how I can harness my knack for empathy, creativity, listening (that may come as a shock to some) and public speaking (not so much!) to craft ceremonies that honour the significance of what matters to my clients, not to mention setting up a business that I want to thrive for many years to come.

I’ll write here about how my unique approach is evolving and what I can offer clients, and join a lively industry to learn from others. I’m aware as I start out that there’s going to be a whole load of stuff to get my head round - risk and trepidation, caution and commitment, fun and fortitude.. not unlike any other new-found love. Of course - it’s all about love in the end!

That's me, feeling adored!

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